When it comes to dating, a high value woman does not leave it to chance.
She has rules that she follows and tries to not make exceptions to.
It is very important to have dating rules when going out there looking for a committed long term relationship.
In this blog post, I will list the top 10 rules that I believe you should live by if you want to be a high value woman and stand out in the dating game.
Rule 1: Never make the first move
Men are very different than women when it comes to dating.
They are biologically wired to hunt and chase. It is in their DNA.
They derive a satisfaction from it that us women cannot understand and will value far more a woman If they have to work for her.
So when a woman makes the first move towards a man, she is stepping into his role as a man and just making the whole thing very easy for him.
He is not going to enjoy it as much and will naturally (and subconsciously) lose interest in her.
A man really enjoys the process of chasing you ( unlike us women who get very anxious about it).
A man will be wondering if you like him, if you are seeing other men, wanting to get your attention and impress you….
The last thing you want to do is to make the first move towards him.
If he likes you, he will come to you I can assure you.
There is always a good reason why he does not come to you.
Most men, even the shy ones, find a way to make a contact with the woman they like.
If he is not making that first move, the reason could be that he is already taken, or he just is not attracted to you enough to do it.
Rule 2: Don’t reveal your feelings and intentions first
If you have been already on one date, or a few dates, the guy already knows that you are interested in him to some degree.
To keep the magic going, you need to be intriguing a little longer by not revealing your intentions.
For example, if he asks if you are looking for a serious relationship, you should not say “yes I am looking to get married in the next year”,
Instead you should say “ well, it all depends on the person I meet” and add a beautiful smile to it.
Even when the answers are obvious, you should not put words to them very early in the dating process, and certainly not be the first one to do so, because being straight forward is masculine, and not attractive.
It can also give him the wrong impression that you are dating with an agenda that you are not even trying to hide.
Rule 3: Remain a mystery
This point is somehow related to the previous one except that this time I am asking you to remain a mystery not about your feelings but about yourself in general.
To put it very simply, if someone has no interest in you and you don’t give him much information about you, nothing will happen…because he was never interested in the first place.
Now, if you guys have been dating, you know at this point that he is interested in you.
So if you refrain from telling him too much about you, you will intrigue him and keep him interested for as long as you do so.
He will be excited at the thought of meeting you and will always look forward to seeing you again, which is what we want to build up strong attraction.
It does not mean you should be playing games with him because this will not get you anywhere, what you should do is simply to release information about yourself gradually during the dating process, so that you do not become boring and predictable.
Ultimately everyone is predictable after you have known them for 20 years, but not everyone will give this impression when you meet them, and that’s will make a difference.
Rule 4: Don’t validate him too much
There is a fine line between being nice to someone and validating him too much.
Surely you can compliment him on something you genuinely think it is worth the compliment…but you should not do it just to be in his good books…I mean it will flatter his ego but will not make him like you more.
You will also come across as easily impressed and he might think he does not need to work for you.
This is particularly true with men who use their wealth or social status to impress women, because their value system is solely based on materialism and social status, so you will score very low on the value scale if you validate them too much because they will think that it does not take much to get you all over them.
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Rule 5: Take your time, Don’t get intimate too quickly
This may sound so cliché but it is true, so it is worth mentioning.
Everything I write in this blog is from the perspective of being a high value woman and dating to marry or at least for a long term committed relationship.
being intimate too quickly is not a high value trait. Here is why:
When you get intimate quickly, he will get the wrong impression that:
- you do not value yourself
- you are desperate
- you are doing this with any man you meet
Conclusion, don’t get intimate with him too quickly.
If he really likes you, he will respect that and will value you even more.
Also, don’t listen to the him if he says that you are “old school” or that you are “playing hard to get”.
Men will test you and your boundaries very early on in the dating process.
He could be saying it just to get into your pants or he could be testing to see what you are about.
In general, learn how to take your time in life, even when you are afraid that it may push people away, because if it does, it means they were the wrong people for you anyway.
If a man stands the test of time, he really likes you.
Rule 6: Don’t chase after him if he loses interest
A high value woman does not chase anyone and you should make it a rule in your life too.
A high value woman believes its not worth chasing after someone who is not investing in her and making efforts to see her and spend time with her.
If he goes as far as walking away, ghosting her or sending mixed signals, he is definitely not worth pursuing because he has made up his mind.
He probably has his own reasons but they all point to the same thing. There is no point trying to talk through it and resonate in the hope of changing his mind.
He is not that into her and therefor not worth her time.
For more on that topic, check out my blog post on why a woman should never chase a man.
Rule 7: Date the guy who likes you, not the one you like
A high value woman does not go blindly after the guys she likes.
She picks one man out of the many who truly and genuinely like her, and never goes for the one she likes but has not expressed interest in her.
It took me a few years to understand that.
Waiting for the guy who you like closes the door on the nice guy who really likes you and has the potential to make you happy.
I have seen this many times where women reject someone and wait for prince charming
…only to see that prince charming is not interested in them.
They waste a lot of time in the process and miss opportunities to be happy with someone who would go out of his way for them.
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Rule 8: Don’t be needy
A woman cannot be needy and high value at the same time.
So if you are a woman who suffers from the “neediness disease”, you should fix it before you get yourself back in the dating game.
You should have a full and busy life of your own so that you are able to create space and give a man time to miss you and fantasize about you.
If you are around all the time, always texting him and wanting to see him, initiating dates…etc, he will get bored of you very quickly.
It may sound counter intuitive, but a man will get attached to you when he is away from you, so give him some space.
Rule 9: Don’t try to impress him
A high value woman does not need to exert it.
Everything about her tells you that she is high value,
so when you are trying to impress the guy with you degrees, or the kind of job you are in, or how many followers you have on Instagram or whatever it might be that you like about yourself…you are already exhibiting not very high value traits.
Behind the act of trying to impress is always an insecurity.
because what you are really after is to get some validation from him. you say and do certain things because you want to get validated by a man.
A high value woman does not expect anyone to validate her from the outside, she is her own source of validation.
and that is why she does not need to talk about how successful she is because she does not care about what someone might think of her and her success.
She is completely detached from that as she becomes her own source of validation.
So what you need to show instead of impressing a man is a complete detachment from whatever he may or may not think of you.
You need to let him discover things about you gradually and by himself.
Believe me It would have far greater impact on him.
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Rule 10: Walk away if he does not meet your standards
If you want to be a high value woman, you need to have standards before dating any man, and be prepared to walk away if the guy does not meet them. It is that simple.
This will save you a lot of energy and wasted time with someone who is not right for you.
Unfortunately, I have seen many times women setting standards but dropping them one by one and finding excuses for the guy as they get attached (I am also guilty of this)…this is not what I call standards. Standards should be above any guy or relationship.
Examples of standards you need to have:
If someone disrespects you or behaves inappropriately, you walk away.
If someone asks you to do something you are not comfortable with, you say No, without worrying what the guy may think of you or your reaction.
If someone says something and does something else, drop him.
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It’s possible when you understand the way the male brain is wired to respond in relationships.
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A final note
Ladies…dating is a game, a very enjoyable one if you learn how to play it,
…but like every game, for you to stand a chance to win, you need to play by the rules…
so please never make the first move, and do not reveal your feelings first, learn the art of concealing your intentions and remaining a mystery.
Do not validate him too much or try to impress him and do not ever chase after him.
Learn to take your time to get intimate, quality men are not only looking for sex only.
Date only the guys who like you, if you do not like those you attract, reassess yourself and work on yourself in order to attract the ones you want…but you should always attract…not go after
Be ready to walks away, if he does not meet your standards.
and finally, don’t be afraid of getting yourself out there and start dating men even when you are not yet comfortable with all these rules.
In fact, the more you practice them, the better you will get and the more confident you will be.
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