In a perfect world, nobody should settle for less than what they want and deserve.
Unfortunately, the world is far from being perfect and sometimes what looks like genuine love at first may not be.
So is your man only settling for you?
No woman wants to be someone’s second choice; No woman wants to find out that her man is only settling for her.
We all want to be in a genuine relationship, to be genuinely loved and cherished and to know that we were chosen among many women and that we are the ONE.
We want our man to be truly into us and not to have a hidden agenda…Too much to ask for ?
It seems so as not all men will hold themselves to high standards and never settle for less than what they want.
Some men can be lazy and settle for their second choice out of convenience and sometimes they just think that’s the best they can do for the time being…Demeaning isn’t it? And so unfair on us women.
What’s even more unfair is the fact that when these men meet their dream girl….the girl that he really want, the become ready to walk away and never turn back like you never existed, regardless of how long you were together and how much time and energy you invested in the relationship. Needless to say that being in such a relationship sucks.
Sadly, these situations are more common that what we think and I urge any woman who has the slightest doubt about her man to check out for the 10 signs that will tell you if he is only settling for you and is not genuinely in love with you.
1. Lack of enthusiasm
Someone who is only settling for you will lack enthusiasm in most of his interactions with you. He will not be as excited making plans for date nights or travel as you may be. You will feel like he’d rather be somewhere else.
2. You are not a priority
If he is constantly putting other people before you, be it his friends, his family or even co-workers, he might be settling for you. Someone who truly cares for you and loves you will have you as his top priority and will put you before anyone else.
3. Dissatisfaction with you
Do you feel your man is mad at you for almost no reason? that is because he is only settling for you,
Deep down, he is angry at himself that he is not with his first choice. and because he does not know how to deal with his own anger, he redirects it towards you. That’s why you guys are arguing so much over little things, that is why he is passive aggressive, that is why he is blaming you for almost everything that goes wrong in his life.
Nothing personal here, you just need to get out of this toxic relationship before your self-esteem is too damaged.
4. When you feel he is ready to walk away any time
Are you walking on eggshells with your guy because you feel it won’t take much for him to walk away? Are you afraid of expressing your feelings and opinions, because you know deep down that he is always ready to walking away. Having a foot in and foot out is one of the biggest signs he is only settling for you.
5. He is happier with other people, especially other women.
It is a big warning sign when a guy lacks enthusiasm with you but suddenly becomes happier in other people’s presence, especially other women.
I witnessed that more than once among some former colleagues who did not seem so happy around their significant others but their mood upswings as soon as another female took part in the interaction.
They became more charming, nicer, more polite, clearly trying to get noticed and trying to impress the other women.
It was quite sad to see and I don’t wish this to my worst enemies.
6. Intimacy is mechanical
A guy can pretend to be happy in a relationship in so many ways but there is one thing that he can never pretend to be happy with, that is intimacy.
If a guy is not attracted to you ( at least not in the way that a truly in love guy would be) cannot hide it in intimate moments.
If your intimacy is too mechanical and is lacking passion and enthusiasm, he might very well be only settling for you.
7. If he is cheating on you
Cheating is not always a sign that a man is only settling because he could be cheating for other reasons ( maybe you refuse to do certain things that other women are okay with), but overall cheating is a strong sign of dissatisfaction with the intimacy aspect of the relationship which suggest that he is okay being with you as long as he can have a side woman.
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8. If you provide for him
Another sign he is only settling for you is if you feel he is only there for what you provide for him.
If he is with you out of convenience. Maybe he needs shelter and you have your own place, maybe you have a stable job and he is jobless. Maybe you have money and he doesn’t.
Whatever the reasons, he is not with you because of YOU but because of What you can PROVIDE for him.
An easy test would be to stop giving him these things and see what happens.
9. If you are too far away from his “type”
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If your man compliments women who don’t look anywhere near you and you find yourself wondering how come your man picked you because you are not exactly his “type”, he might be just settling with you because he does not have the confidence that he can be with his type.
10. If you feel you need to be a completely different person for him to be happy with you
Not only in terms of your looks, but personality wise, the way you are, the way you think, the way you behave. If he is constantly trying to change you, constantly criticizing you and everything you do, then he might be settling for you hoping that you will change and become the person he really wants to be with.
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