Giving and receiving support from your significant other is such a critical part of a relationship. I don’t know of any relationship that would survive the storms of life if support was not part of the equation.
That being said, too much support can be perceived as noisy and become a weight on his shoulders, and too little can be perceived as not caring enough.
The key is to find the right balance between what you can do and what you should avoid doing in order to be supportive to your partner.
You should not necessarily wait for difficult times to show your support, small daily supportive actions can prove very helpful to your partner and effective in developing and keeping a strong bond in your relationship.
In this post, I am going to explain how you can show support to your partner on a daily basis as well as in difficult times.
On a day to day basis
Cook his favorite meal once a week
One way to support your partner is to do something nice for him, and cooking his favorite meal is a simple yet a very nice gesture that tells him that he actually matter to someone, that he is special to you.
Do one chore that he is usually responsible for
It is often the case that household chores are divided between partners, so each one knows exactly what he has to do when he has to do it. That is why one way to support your partner is by surprising him if you decide to take on one of the household chores under his responsibility.
It can be something very simple like throwing garbage, doing laundry or washing evening dishes. It is a small gesture but because it is so unexpected, I bet it will be greatly appreciated.
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Offer your help
Men are known for not being great at asking for help but that doesn’t mean they don’t need or appreciate help. Offering your help can be a great way to support your partner when you see your partner struggling with something.
It doesn’t matter what you think of your ability to help because the very fact of offering your help can trigger very positive emotions in your partner, and sometimes your partner can redirect you to help him in a different way.
Don’t unload your problems on him
This is a prime example of what you should not do in order to show support to your partner.
A lot of people confuse their partner with their therapist or their friend and so they think that he or she is the go to person and unload their problems on.
Of course your partner should be there for you when you need it the most but you should have an entire support system (family and friends) in order to avoid putting too much weight onto one person and getting him or her to the point of being fed up with you and your problems.
Always remember that your partner has his own problems that he might not be systematically sharing with you so he may not always be ready and available to listen to you.
Check on him from time to time
Some people are very good at hiding their emotions and their state of mind, especially when they are experiencing negative ones. This is particularly common with people who have been brought up in an environment where sharing feelings and expressing oneself needs was not encouraged.
So your partner can be under a lot of stress, can be very anxious, feel helpless or miserable and you having no idea about it. So it is very important to not assume that your partner is okay just because he is not showing no signs of helplessness and checking on him from time to time.
And often all that it takes is a simple “ how are you doing” or “ how are you feeling”.
When he is going through difficult times
Difficult times are an inherent part of life, everyone encounters them at some point but not everyone deals with them in the same way.
Your partner can be under a lot of stress from work, or from losing money in an investment, or from family related issue.
Whatever the reason, it is in those crucial moments that your support to your partner is very much needed.
If you can clearly see there is a problem…maybe he is unusually quiet, or short tempered and clearly preoccupied and frustrated by something, here are few things you can do to help:
Give him peace and quiet
Some people deal better with their issue alone. they require peace and quiet the most so that they can focus, think and digest everything that is going on.
If you feel your partner is withdrawing, the best thing you could do to show him support is to leave them alone, give him some space and just show that you are there for him if he needs it.
Avoid being demanding
Probably the worst time to ask him to wash the car or through garbage or anything that he views as a chore…even when you do it kindly, but it is obviously worst if you demand it and show him that you expect him to ask no questions and execute.
Some chores can help him unwind himself but it has to come from him, it has to be his choice.
There is also no need to ask him for help with cooking or making the table when you can clearly see he is trying to relax and distract himself by watching TV for example.
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Try to be extra kind when you partner is not feeling too well. Say nice words to him, tell him how much you admire him and how strong he is and that you are going to go through this together.
Also show him a supportive body language by giving him hugs and kisses and look at him comfortingly.
Try to engage in conversations
If you feel your partner is ready to open up and share with you his concerns and his preoccupations, you can try and engage in a conversation with him. First ask general questions and try to listen more than you talk.
Ask him “Is there something that is bothering you”, “Would you like to talk to me about it”, and tell him that you are there for him should he feel comfortable talking to you.
If you ask me, blaming is never a good approach and can be a very dangerous practice that you should not engage in for many reasons: blaming does not solve any problem and does not make the person feel any better nor does it help them understand the part they played into what happened and avoid repeating the same mistake in the future.
So please avoid saying things like “ I told you” or “you shouldn’t have”, even when you think you have a point. It can just make the whole situation worst and will not help your partner in any way.
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Only give advice when solicited.
It can be really annoying to receive advice when we have not solicited any. If your partner wants any advice, he will clearly ask you for it. In any other case, don’t adventure yourself into giving unsolicited advice that don’t advice when you have not been solicited.
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